


Hotakainen Productions

by LooNEY_DAC



Series: LooNEY_DAC's SSSS AUs [6]
Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Gen, No Rash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 10:42:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8664562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LooNEY_DAC/pseuds/LooNEY_DAC
Summary: Yet another silly SSSS AU of mine.





	1. An Independent Production

Sigrun was practically dancing with joy as she read the new pages the script boy had passed her. “Oh, this is going to be _so **cool**!_ I can’t believe I had to drag you into this, Emil.”

Emil looked worried. _“I_ can’t believe I let you talk me into getting in front of the camera,” he said. “All I want to do is blow things up, not yammer back lines like a glorified parrot!”

“It won’t be _that_ bad,” Mikkel rumbled from behind Emil, making the young man jump at least a foot. “Ask Lalli; he’s been in quite a few of these things, according to Tuuri.”

“Besides,” Sigrun butted in, “most of your part _is_ blowing things up, or shooting at them, and the rest isn’t so far from the truth for any of us.”

“Because I should _love_ airing my family’s dirty laundry to the world, of course,” Emil mumbled. “It’s a great script,” he declared loudly. “With an actual _actor_ playing the role, and Tuuri directing, it would be sure to be a hit, but I’m not an actor, Sigrun.”

“That’s why we’re doing this using the Method,” Sigrun explained. “They throw us a few curveballs, and we don’t need to be actors to react right.”

“Says the most naturally born actor among us,” Emil retorted with a mix of admiration and frustration.

What else he might have added was lost with the entrance of the chubby little whirlwind that was Tuuri. “How are my stars-to-be?” she cried gaily, zooming from one to another like a king-sized hummingbird. “Oh, good: you have today’s pages! So all I need to talk to you about is the staging. Emil, you’re _sure_ that the explosions will go off right?”

Emil rolled his eyes. “I’ve been doing this for ten years now, Tuuri. I know how to wire a set to blow right.”

“Okay. We have the puppets and the costumes all ready to go, so...”

“How’s Reynir?” Emil interrupted. Sigrun made a nasty face, but Emil pressed on, “He got pretty badly dehydrated in that ‘Tooth Scary’ costume last week, you know.”

“Oh, the costume guys rigged up a drinking tube for him when they put in the drool-a-tronics,” Tuuri bubbled. “We’ve been giving him a fresh liter bottle every hour or two.”

“Better than nothing, but he should still watch himself,” Mikkel rumbled.

“The prop guys running the drool-a-tronics are watching out for him, but you can go too, if you want. We’re still on the hallway scene where Emil gets slimed by the ‘Tooth Scary’, makes a break for it, and we have the fight with ‘Spider-Lizard’, as played by Lalli, and Sigrun’s nick-of-time rescue, followed by Emil bringing the house down.”

“You’re _sure_ they got the costumes right this time?” Sigrun queried. “Emil was worried he’d actually hit Lalli with his knife last time.”

“Yep. Everything’s great. So let’s get a-filming!” Tuuri efficiently shepherded the others out to the sets...


	2. Another Independent Production

Lalli’s moose was staring at Emil again.

This wasn’t a “Die beneath my massive dinosaur claws, mammal scum!” look like the ravens tended to direct at Emil, but more of a “Whatcha doin’?” look. The moose was friendly like that.

In fact, the moose was the friendliest of all of Lalli’s menagerie, possibly excepting the penguin, when it wasn’t trying to be all standoffishly feline at Emil.

Most of the menagerie tended to act feline, no matter their actual species, which were many and varied. The moose, however, tended to act more like a big, curious dog as it trailed along after Lalli. You could never tell what it would stick its nose into next, which was Emil’s current problem, as he was trying to set up some minor but potentially harmful pyrotechnics.

“Lalli!”

There was no answer. With a sigh, Emil went over to the moose and grabbed its reins gently but firmly. “C’mon, moose. We need to find your Daddy.”

The moose nodded and guided Emil off in one particular direction.

Lalli was napping beneath one of the _Viking Inferno_ mock-up bits waiting to be put into place on the “battlefield”. Though most of the Giant/Jaeger battle was going to be achieved through computer animation, several key bits would be practical, with full-sized mock-ups of (for example) the control pod and large-scale miniatures of both the _Viking Inferno_ and its Giant opponent.

“Lalli?” Still no response. “Lalli, you need to keep your moose away from my explosives.”

Lalli sat up and sang some Finnish at Emil, who wished Tuuri was there to translate.

“Your _moose_ ,” Emil said, gesturing at the animal behind him, “ _away_.” He brought his hands together, and then out, miming an explosion. “My _boom-booms_.”

Lalli snorted in amusement, but seemed to understand. Grabbing the moose’s halter, he gestured for Emil to get back to work.

“Thank you.” Emil turned and almost plowed into Mikkel, already in costume.

“‘ _Boom-booms_ ’. Such a complex and technical term to use on our little Finn friend there.”

Emil rolled his eyes. “It’s what he understands.”

“Like you understand ‘sotkuinen ruotsalainen’?”

Emil blushed. Trust Mikkel to remember _that_. “I need to get back to my explosives now,” he said, much on his dignity, “before any of Lalli’s other little friends decide to investigate.”

“Speaking of which...” Mikkel gestured to the rapidly approaching figure of Sigrun. An obviously smitten badger hurried in her wake.

“LALLI!” she bellowed once she spotted the thin Finn and his moose. “Tell this thing I’m not available, so it should keep AWAY!” Her gesticulations did nothing to discourage the badger, but some sparrows perched near Lalli took fright readily enough.

Lalli snapped his fingers, and the badger slinked over to him, climbing onto the moose’s back. Another snap of Lalli’s fingers brought the birds back, carrying Lalli’s helmet between them.

Emil was most impressed, as he’d had no idea sparrows could carry so much weight. But he had his own job to do, so he couldn’t stick around to watch the impending musical number.

A pair of rabbits passed by, pausing to lift their tails at Emil in a “Nice to see you!” as they did. Emil shook his head and went back to his squibs...


End file.
